You are the first Cats’ mum. How does it feel?
Becoming a mum is an overwhelming experience that changed my life entirely.
My life as an individual human being ended the moment that little baby was born. And you don’t even love him immediately. I know I may shock some people with this, but it’s true.
I went through a rush of emotional ups and downs and suddenly… wow I’m not pregnant anymore and I have a baby in front of me, and I’m his mother and I have to take care of him forever. And this was the scariest moment of my life. So, how was I supposed to think of loving him?
What were you scared of?
That I wouldn’t be able to be a good mum, that I would not be able to make it, and some social services would come and take him from me. And from the moment I left the hospital, it started to be much more scaring and everyone wanted me to act as if I had done this my whole life. No… It’s not easy.
Every day was the first time of something, of all the things. And when I experienced many nights of lacking sleep, I started doubting of my mental sanity. But then, comes the first smile and the first times of the good things. And it gets easier day by day.
What are the good things?
You watch him growing up and it’s incredible to see his evolution. He starts smiling when he sees you, hugs you and he’s so happy just to be around you. And that’s when you can feel true love… when you spend hours looking at the same 2000 pictures on the cellphone, all of them looking alike.
Now I can really tell that it’s an always growing, never-ending love. And a message for my baby boy… yes, I’m always tired, but it’s never of you.